Q. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

A. To win the nobell prize

Q. Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

A. They wear snow caps.

Q. Why did the balloon burst?

A. Because it saw a lolly pop!

Q. Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book?

A. Because he wasn't very hungry.

Q. How much do pirates pay for their earrings?

A. Buccaneer

Q. When is a car not a car?

A. When it turns into a garage.

Q. If Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had kids, who would be the biggest of the three?

A. The baby, because he's a little Bigger!

Q. What did the carpet say to the floor?

A. "You go ahead I'll cover you"

Q. Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

A. He wanted to get to the second-hand shop!

Q. What flower grows on your face?

A. Tulips

Q. What is a computer's favorite dance?

A. Disk-o

Q. Why did the little boy put lipstick on his head?

A. He wanted to make up his mind!

Q. What kind of ship never sinks?

A. Friendship!

Q. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?

A. Stop going in circles and get to the point!

Q. How do you make a hotdog stand?

A. Steal its chair!

Q. Did you hear about what happened at the Laundromat last night?
A. Three clothes-pins held up two shirts!

Q. Why did the computer squeak.
A. Because someone stepped on it's mouse